Dust Off Your Inner Diva: 5 Tips to Blasting Away the Blues

Ladies, it happens to us all: for whatever reason—be it loneliness, heartbreak, or just feeling in a funk—we get the blues. Lord knows I’ve been there! The trick is not to stay there long… and in not waiting around for someone else to pull you out of it.

That’s right, it’s up to you to get clear your own sad clouds. And to do that, you need to dust off your inner-diva; reclaim your Cougar rights!

Notice I didn’t say you need to “discover” your inner diva. She’s not lost. A little neglected, perhaps, but, just like Dorothy, you’ve had her power in you all along. You just need to get those heels clicking, before someone drops a house on you!

With that in mind, here are five practical tips to calling up the Cougar in you, showering your inner diva in some love, and, in the process, blasting away the blues:

1. Get Back to Your Roots

If you haven’t indulged your inner diva in a while, the best place to start is the beginning. Go back in time, to a point in your life when things were so much less complicated, and remember what it was that got you moving (before husbands or boyfriends, kids, bills and your career took center stage).

Here’s an example: I’m a child of the ’80s—a card-carrying member of Generation X. And from the age of 12, one man’s voice could send me screaming in fits of fanatic frenzy. One note, and I’d be dancing around my bedroom. Yup… as anyone who knows me can tell you, as a teen, I ate, drank, slept and dreamed Boy George. And, as anyone who follows me on Twitter knows, I still dig The Boy (@theboygeorge, in case you’re wondering!). Am I still an “OMG-I-LOVE-YOU!!!” fan? Well, no, not exactly. But I always keep Boy George and Culture Club music on-hand.

Why? It’s simple: To this day, all I have to do is hear his music and I time-warp back to me at my most innocent, simple, most unencumbered age. And with those songs, come all the memories of begging for concert tickets, waiting for new video releases, scouring the magazines for bits of news, and screaming with my girlfriends over every new look he came out with. Chasing him was a big part of my adolescent life, and that music represents a huge portion of who I was when I first began defining myself. Hear it today, and that wonderful free-spirited, boundary-testing attitude comes rushing back.

No matter what your passion was in those crazy days of adolescence, reconnect with it. I guarantee, it was the beginning of an independent you. And most likely, it was also the first chunk of you that you cast aside when you stepped out into the ominous, adult-filled “real world.” It’s high time you honored where you began. So go on… remember when!

2. Forget  Matthew McConaughey!

…or, to put it another way: TURN OFF THE CHIC FLICKS!

Gals, trust me on this: watching a romantic comedy when you are blue is tantamount to ripping out your own heart and then bathing it in salt. It’s a bad idea.

The many variations on “Boy Gets Girl, Boy Loses Girl, Boy Gets Girl Back” (i.e., The Wedding Planner; How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days; Failure to Launch; Fool’s Gold; and the oh-so-promising Ghosts of Girlfriends Past) may be touted as “feel good” movies, but the truth is, they rarely accomplish anything but remind us that A) No one we know looks, talks, kisses, or makes up like McConaughey’s smug characters ultimately do; B) We never have, and probably never will be, as cute, clever, or surrounded by cute, clever friends as Jennifer Lopez, Kate Hudson, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Jennifer Garner’s characters all seem to be; and C) rarely will our depression turn around because of a sailboat ride, a motorcycle ride, or a movie in the park.

Yes, we know it’s a fantasy when you hit the “play” button, but halfway through the film, you just can’t help but start counting all the elements that are not present in your life. Screw that! You don’t need it, no one really has it, it doesn’t exist… so SHUT IT OFF!

If you want to perk yourself up with some feminine touches, let me suggest channeling Holly Hunter’s character in Saving Grace; watch Cote de Pablo kick some serious ass in NCIS; or watch any number of Angelina Jolie’s jaw-dropping action adventures.

Instead of sniffling over taglines, you’ll remind yourself what a determined diva can do!

Which brings me to…

3. PUT THE CHUNKY MONKEY DOWN!

Now, don’t hear me wrong… I’m not counting calories here. And I’m the first to admit a Snicker’s Bar can cure a lot of ailments…temporarily. And there is my real point: it’s just a short-term fix, with unhappy, long-term consequences.

Forget any extra pounds you may tack on during a blue phase. Size isn’t the issue (nor any sort of defining diva factor). When we women get depressed, we start craving chocolate in all its comforting forms. Chocolate, it turns out, mimics the effects of serotonin, a chemical our bodies naturally produce to combat depression.

Unfortunately, chocolate (and all those other yummies that are so high in sugar and carbohydrates) causes very real crashes as the uplifting effects quickly melt away. It isn’t long before your energy levels take a nosedive. As depression already causes (among many other things) fatigue, the unsettling, sluggish, consequence of a sugar crash only adds to the problem. Before you know it, you’re caught chasing the Sugar Dragon, an endless rollercoaster ride of depression-fatigue-lethargy-depression.

Do yourself a favor: Rather than reach for the Cold Stone, make yourself a thick, sweet, fresh-fruit smoothie. Find something nutritious that will satisfy the comfort-food cravings. Give your body some extra fuel when you’re feeling low. Never forget that mind, body and spirit truly are interconnected. Keep your body healthy, and it will be easier to get your emotions to follow.

4. Acknowledge Yourself

OK… Even I hate how psycho-babbly that sounds, but you know what? There’s something really important to be said for this simple statement. It has taken millions of seconds, thousands and thousands of days, and many, many years to bring you to where you are, right now, at this precise moment in your life. Every tear you have shed, every laugh you’ve shared, every argument, battle, failure and success has made you the person who is staring you in the mirror today. You have earned it all, girl, so learn from it, gain strength from it, and above all else, celebrate it!

So, right now, you’re feeling in the dumps. But look a little deeper into your own eyes, and own every choice, mishap, moment of fortune, and act of sheer determination that is reflected right there. Are you not happy with your looks? Your love life? Your career? Are you lonely? Are you bored? Frustrated? Maybe… or maybe you are just having an emotional, hormonal swing. Regardless, the important thing to remember is this: You have carried yourself this far. And again, like Dorothy, you already have the power to move yourself forward from here.

Take some time to really look at what you have already accomplished, and give yourself the kudos you deserve. If you can make peace with the choices you’ve made, be prepared to improve where you (and only you) know you need to, and can smile into that mirror, then you are in possession of more power than you could ever need to succeed.

From acknowledging and congratulating yourself, it’s just a small step to feeling truly comfortable in your own skin. And that is the sexiest Cougar quality of all: confidence. Feel good about yourself, and you’re well on your way to blasting that blue funk to smithereens.

5. Do Something Different

Know this: If you want something to change in your life, you must do something different.

This is a big one, so, at the risk of sounding pedantic, I’m going to rephrase it for emphasis: NOTHING is going to change in your life if you keep doing everything the same way.

It doesn’t have to be a big thing. In fact, even the smallest little adjustments can be significant. Take Brittney Spears. In my opinion, the healthiest thing she did was taking the shears to her head. In shaving her hair off, she was reclaiming herself—not the image the media or her publicists wanted for her, but her self. Her power. While I’m not suggesting going Sinead will solve all your problems, it’s a great example of how a seemingly small (and misunderstood) action can empower a woman.

Always want a tattoo? Go get it! It doesn’t have to be a full-arm sleeve. A small symbol, significant to you, can be enough to reenergize your inner diva. It can make the statement you want to make.

Feel like smiling at that hottie at the checkout counter? Go ahead! And suck up every fantastic feeling when he smiles back. I’d never suggest infidelity or casual flings to fix a funk, but some harmless flirting? Go for it! Maybe reminding yourself that you are a sexy, sexual woman is all you need for a very real attitude adjustment.

Or maybe the change needs to be something bigger: returning to school; reorganizing your time and space; making a leap to pursue a dream; yes… maybe even reevaluating a relationship.

You can do that, too… one tiny heel-click at a time. Just take that first step, and the course of your life is automatically changed.

In the end, whether it’s just a bad, bummed-out night or a big blue fog rolling over the top of you, you are still in control of the choices and changes you make.

Embrace that belief, and your inner diva will carry you through.

Written by Forum Member: Melissa Fine

SinCityTweeter, Melissa Fine, is the Editor of Casino Player and Strictly Slots Magazines. Check out the mags at www.casinocenter.com. And if you’re interested in Melissa’s random rants, blips and pics, follow her at www.twitter.com/SinCityTweeter.

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