Men are like parking spaces….all the good ones are taken and the rest of them seem handicapped!
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Good parking spaces, like good men are exceedingly hard to come by during the holidays. Men are so insanely and inherently different than women. It seems we spend our entire lives trying to snag one, hitch one, keep one, make him happy, and then train him to make us happy. So much energy and so much time, it’s utterly exhausting. Too bad no one has written an instruction book on this age old dance and challenge. Even if the handbook had already been published…and we Cougars learned all the answers…guaranteed the questions would change!!! It’s not easy being a fabulous Cougar and having to deal with that creature from another planet. Men have to be the hardest thing a woman has to contend with. It does help if the men are younger and more eager and pliable than the older versions. This war of the sexes has been going on since the beginning of time and no one has won or can get the rules down. Men have those extra parts that we so need and enjoy….and like parking spaces.. they have the ability to make your life brighter and easier in an instant! So go out and snag that great parking space and keep searching for that perfect man, it might take a lifetime, but it’s worth it..right?
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Lately a lot of famous married men seem to be stepping out on their wives—and getting caught. The main reason they get caught is that the women they’re cheating with rat them out to the press. Who know why guys like Tiger Woods, Jesse James and David Boreanaz have steak at home, but insist on going out for dogburgers? But the motives of their consorts are pretty obvious—fame and money. The press insists on referring to these women as “mistresses.”
In days of old, a “mistress” was a woman who was “kept” by a married man, often a wealthy one. The “other woman” respected her man’s wife and family, and in return for being supported in style, she kept her mouth shut. The wife often knew about the mistress, but as long as she had the name, the house and the children, she also stayed quiet. Obviously, the new breed of “mistress” has little in common with her classier forerunners.
There are better terms to describe the strippers, nightclub hostesses, cocktail waitresses and porn stars who’ve mined their indiscretions for big bucks payoffs—like hooker, whore, skank and slut. I wish the media would stop honoring these calculating bimbos with the term “mistress” and call them what they really are.
“Mistress” or Whore?
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December 16, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Yeaaaaa Rita! Your observation is brilliant but is also the solution to the problem. Coming to grips and accepting the fact that men are diffrent from women is the key to living with them. Only women who think that men should think and act like women are frustrated by men. In a similar vein, men who cannot understand why women don’t think and act like them are idiots. We need to embrace the differences then laugh and have fun with them. That is precisely what your article does.
December 16, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Yes, they are different, but viva la difference, and yes, the good ones seem to be taken. I’m trying to introduce a good one to our daughter (she seems to be meeting all the losers). Are there any out there? You talk about the younger ones being eager and pliable; actually they all seem to be a bunch of self-centered arrogant jerks. Oh well, I keep telling her there is someone wonderful out there somewhere waiting for a beautiful, darling girl that she is (I guess I’m somewhat biased). Happy Christmas, Hunukah, New Year to all.
December 17, 2009 at 11:42 am
Yes, I wonder what our daughters will find out there. Guys seem to be so selfish and beligerent… so I try to help by discussing with my SON. He is a great guy. But most 20-something guys need encouragement to be great (and pull up their pants)! This age group is teachable and more flexible. Maybe they can be good role models to the many 40+ guys that seem distant, and angry. I gotta go find nice ones!
December 17, 2009 at 12:56 am
If men are like parking spaces: They are either available or they are not. When they are available, they allow many cars to park in their spots. And when they are taken, they know it’s not for long before the spots get cleared. So cars, beware! Try to get a parking space reserved just for you. Or at least, park in a space that could accommodate you. If you are a large car, don’t park in a space for compact cars. And always remember that if you are a car, men would always love you.
December 17, 2009 at 8:21 am
Dear Rita, you have done it again! Another brilliant insight that speaks directly into my heart and soul. Equally as important as your thoughts as, I am encouraged by your lighthearted, half-joking tone which tells me not to take it all so seriously! After all, if you miss one parking spot, all you have to do is persevere: circle the lot a couple of times and when you least expect it, the best spot in the lot opens up, right by the mall entrance! Your article did make me think of Lisa Scottoline’s newest novel: “WHY MY THIRD HUSBAND WILL BE A DOG.” Happy New Year and best wishes to all of your readers. Chins up and remember, everything’s going to be okay!
December 17, 2009 at 8:36 am
They are so different I can’t believe we have the same DNA.
Yes, there are great things about men, but they are so much more simple than us!!!! Sometimes, you feel like you have a great companion and you’re on the same page and then BAM!!!!! They are suddenly dense, petty and STUPID!!!!!
Oh well, I suppose we can be difficult too. I would love to read their blog.
December 17, 2009 at 9:01 am
You are so right!!!!ALways love your articles!!! Debbie
December 17, 2009 at 7:16 pm
You are so right on Rita! Men are definitely from Mars and women from Venus…So glad that I have handicapped parking so I don’t have to circle around the lot anymore!(and believe me, there’s not a lot out there! ) However, it only takes one, and there’s always that one in a million man! (here’s hoping he has a million!) Happy holidays to all!
December 19, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Finding a parking space brings me to the story of a never ending battle between my husband and me. Where to park the car?! “Let’s park over here and walk”, I say. “Why? Park closer”, he says. The differences are clear, and obvious, although, I do love the “extra parts”! I married late in my 30’s and I must admit he is worth all the “knuckleheads” before him. I’m so glad I waited.
December 21, 2009 at 12:18 pm
I agree that men are the most time consuming of all the species! LOL! Once you have lived with them for a while, you learn that they are all little boys playing Superman. One can smile and walk away at the little irritating things or one can continue to poke and prod until they finally learn how to avoid your nagging. LOL! I still after over 20 years have to shake my head and walk away at some things.
December 24, 2009 at 9:59 am
Thats an interesting article – your blog is really good i keep coming back here all the time keep it up!
January 16, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Cougars are nothing more than irresponsible, shallow women that have no care about destroying the delicate male/female relationship balance.
I call upon all men to fight this charade of womanhood by whatever means necessary, in an effort to bring back older women to being REAL women, instead of these middle aged tramps.
Dr. Morlenheim
January 24, 2010 at 6:17 am
I see an article in Men’s Healt about it. It says that, according a research of the University of Oklahoma, women find more atractive a man when they know he is on a relation. That’s becouse a man in a relation have been previously evaluated by others.