Are You Looking? And if so Where?
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People tend to equate the “wrong places” to look for love as a bar or a nightclub. I have heard lots of people say “I don’t go to bars” or “I would never consider dating someone that I met in a nightclub.” A bar or a nightclub could be the wrong place or the right place depending on who shows up on any given night. And by the way, the operative word here is not “wrong places” but “looking.” Whenever we go out “looking” is when we will become disappointed and discouraged. Desperately trying to “make it happen” thinking, this will be the night that I meet “him” just seems to have the opposite effect. I have a single girlfriend named Gina and whenever we go out for a drink, instead of having a relaxing time and enjoying my devastatingly fascinating conversation, her head is twisting around like Linda Blair in the Exorcist all night long trying to see who’s there or if anyone new has come in the door. She actually misses the entire evening because she is so engrossed in looking around to see if her “soul mate” has shown up yet. Another gal Sherina, called me at work one afternoon explaining that there was an international singles mix and mingle event going on that evening at a local French restaurant and would I want to join her since it might be good for me business wise. I told her that I was tired, but she said that she was going alone and convinced me to meet her there. When I arrived I saw her standing near the bar with a glass of wine in her hand chatting with a gentleman. I approached and said “Hello” She immediately glanced around and told me “Maybe you don’t want to stay, there really isn’t anything going on here, no one interesting has shown up.” I said, “Well, that maybe true, but you and I could have a drink together, I haven’t seen you in awhile.” Well, she replied, “we could, but you know, I have to mingle.” I was flabbergasted! I looked at her and said, “You do that! Go mingle, I’m going home!” Ladies, Enjoy your life! Enjoy each moment with your friends and what is happening in that instant. When you are just out living your life with no ulterior motive, you just may be pleasantly surprised at what happens. And the same idea applies if you are using a matchmaking service or doing online dating to meet someone special. You don’t need to treat each date with an expectation or desperate wish that this person is “the one.” If you go only expecting to meet a new person and enjoy their company you take the pressure off and avoid disappointment if there is no love connection. Who knows, you could end up making a new friend or business contact or maybe this guy is a good match for one of your girlfriends. Stay cool, be sweet and have FUN!!!
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Lately a lot of famous married men seem to be stepping out on their wives—and getting caught. The main reason they get caught is that the women they’re cheating with rat them out to the press. Who know why guys like Tiger Woods, Jesse James and David Boreanaz have steak at home, but insist on going out for dogburgers? But the motives of their consorts are pretty obvious—fame and money. The press insists on referring to these women as “mistresses.”
In days of old, a “mistress” was a woman who was “kept” by a married man, often a wealthy one. The “other woman” respected her man’s wife and family, and in return for being supported in style, she kept her mouth shut. The wife often knew about the mistress, but as long as she had the name, the house and the children, she also stayed quiet. Obviously, the new breed of “mistress” has little in common with her classier forerunners.
There are better terms to describe the strippers, nightclub hostesses, cocktail waitresses and porn stars who’ve mined their indiscretions for big bucks payoffs—like hooker, whore, skank and slut. I wish the media would stop honoring these calculating bimbos with the term “mistress” and call them what they really are.
“Mistress” or Whore?
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November 18, 2009 at 10:10 am
Surprises always happen when you least expect it. I think single men (and women for that matter) can smell desperation a mile away. Future stalker…run!
I agree with you Marla. Enjoy life, have fun, and for sure stay in the moment!
November 19, 2009 at 8:23 am
Thanks for article. Everytime like to read you.
November 21, 2009 at 1:02 pm
I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites.
November 21, 2009 at 11:36 pm
YES! I have friends who spend the whole night looking for a guy and they always ruin my night, so I always end up leaving early. How about just going out to have fun and what happens, happens? Men can smell a desperate woman a mile away!