The Star Discovers Cougars

Lately a lot of famous married men seem to be stepping out on their wives—and getting caught. The main reason they get caught is that the women they’re cheating with rat them out to the press. Who know why guys like Tiger Woods, Jesse James and David Boreanaz have steak at home, but insist on going out for dogburgers? But the motives of their consorts are pretty obvious—fame and money. The press insists on referring to these women as “mistresses.”

In days of old, a “mistress” was a woman who was “kept” by a married man, often a wealthy one. The “other woman” respected her man’s wife and family, and in return for being supported in style, she kept her mouth shut. The wife often knew about the mistress, but as long as she had the name, the house and the children, she also stayed quiet. Obviously, the new breed of “mistress” has little in common with her classier forerunners.

There are better terms to describe the strippers, nightclub hostesses, cocktail waitresses and porn stars who’ve mined their indiscretions for big bucks payoffs—like hooker, whore, skank and slut. I wish the media would stop honoring these calculating bimbos with the term “mistress” and call them what they really are.

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