Will You Be My Cheap & Easy Valentine?

Call me the Scrooge of Valentine’s Day, but this freakin’ holiday never did much for me.  In grade school, I nearly had panic attacks waiting for someone to give me a card with a heart pasted on it.  In high school, the amount of dime Candy Grams you received directly related to your level of coolness.  (My coolness was only worth 30 cents, and one of those was from my brother.  His read, “I can’t believe I spent 10 cents on you.  Happy V Day.”)  In college, I only ever had one date on Valentine’s Day, and immediately thereafter, I was struck down with food poisoning from the Italian dinner we shared.  Then there were the Valentine’s Days I spent working, complaining at all-female pity parties, alone with a pint of Chunky Monkey, aaaaand/or sick, exhausted, drunk, and jealous.  AWESOME holiday.

The thing is, I feel like if you’re in a loving relationship, you shouldn’t require one day a year to demand chocolate, flowers, and a romantic entree from your significant other.  You should demand that all year long!  And why stop at truffles and roses?!  Let’s get creative people!  So.  In order to combat my crotchety downer of a demeanor on a day that should be (in my honest opinion) celebrated every day, I’d like to present…Teresa Claire’s Five Cheap and Sweet Ways to the Heart!

1. Breakfast is for Lovers! Why wait all day for a big, fantastic meal celebrating your mutual attraction?  Let’s kick off this holiday with breakfast in bed.  As my friends over at Couponcravings.com pointed out, you can try a 16 oz. tin of Stonewall Kitchen’s Cinnamon Apple Pancake & Waffle Mix for only $8.95.  Serve up the pancakes in the shape of a heart, with some slices of strawberries on the side, or maybe…with some Raspberry Liquer Hot Fudge?  Lick by the spoonful, or smear on top, this sweet sauce is only $8.5o (or $7.65 for 3.  Give one to all your ladies!)

2.  Cards are Boring.  Films are Fun! Rather than picking out another Hallmark card, with another sappy saying someone else wrote, without anything personal about it…why not make a Dfilm?  One of my all-time, favorite gifts to give, www.dfilms.com gives you the opportunity to create your own mini film using their Dvolver moviemaker.   Choose your title (“Love in the Time of Obama” anyone?), choose your characters (might I suggest you and your sweetheart?), choose your sets (the heart-shaped bed and bubble bath are practically made for Valentine’s Day), and choose your own dialogue (“My, my you’re one hot cougar.”  “Why, thank you, young, attractive adonis.  Now hand me my new Jimmy Choo shoes, please, my adorable plaything.”).  Add a soundtrack, (I recommend Indian Beat or Smooth) and bang! Flash!  Whiz!  You got yourself a Valentine’s movie to send to your sweetie, no cost, no charge!  I tell you, from personal experience, everyone looooves a dfilm.  Especially me.  (*Hint Hint* to my own attractive adonis…)

3.  When in doubt: Poetry! One of the best gifts I ever gave was to my manfriend the first year we were dating.  I bought a plain, blank journal (I chose Moleskin, which is a fantastic quality, AND you can get it on sale $10 for 3 on their website) and filled it with copies of all my favorite poetry.  (Not a poet?  Here’s a few goodies: “The River-Merchant’s Wife: A Letter” by Ezra Pound, “Song” by W.H. Auden, “Sonnet CVI: When in the chronicle of wasted time” by William Shakespeare, and “Love” by Pablo Neruda.)  You can also pick up postcards of great art from your favorite local museum or include copies of pictures of you together.  It’s homemade, from your heart to your hands.  He’ll love it.

4.  Take Some Advice from A Man! I love Brad.  Did I tell you that?  I love Brad!  I love his deals, too.  For instance, a full Valentine’s Day Dinner for Two for only $30 (wowie!), those amazing aluminum water bottles for $10 each from Pottery Barn (good for the environment, too?  yowza!) and 20 % off Shari’s Chocolate Dipped Strawberries (yuuuuuuuuum!)

5.  Less Men, More Cake! Okay, okay, not everyone needs/wants/can find a sweetie to share the most romantic day of the year.  Big deal!?  Who needs a guy when you’ve got your ladies?  Who needs a guy when you’ve got…the Better Than Sex Cake! It’s cheap, it’s easy, and it won’t snore.

BETTER THAN SEX CAKE

1 Package German Chocolate Cake Mix

1 (14 oz.) can Sweetened Condensed Milk

2 cups Hot Fudge Topping

1 (12 oz.) container Frozen Whipped Topping, thawed

4 Chocolate Toffee Bars (Skor or Heath)

Bake German Chocolate Cake mix according to package directions.  While cake is still warm poke holes in top of cake with the end of a wooden spoon, pour sweetened condensed milk over top.  Let cake cool.  Pour hot fudge topping over top of cake and let set.  Spread on whipped topping and garnish with crushed toffee bar crumbs.  Makes 24 servings.

Well, this Love Scrooge is spent.  And now excited to no end about Valentine’s Day!  Wahoo!  But, just in case you are not as excited as I am, and still are scrounging for V Day ideas, check out Walmart’s website, which is chock full of other people’s stories and shared tips for the best Valentine’s Day ever.  After all, we all just want to share the love, right?  Happy Valentine’s to the sassiest ladies around!

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