Fab Monday

Oh, Monday.  Monday, Monday, Monday.  How do you have such a magical power to make the preceding weekend seem so incredibly far away?  It doesn’t matter how you rock Friday and Saturday night, Monday always eventually comes, with the constricting squeeze of another work week, another five days of stress, another eternity shovelling through commitments and duties.  Unless…

What if we changed how we perceived Monday?  From top to bottom!  The No Budget, No Problem way…

Let’s start this morning all over again.  You wake up, albeit to your alarm clock crowing loudly, and you stumble your way to a nice warm shower.  (Here’s where Fabulous Monday begins!)  Luckily, you spent some time online last week checking out beauty products from e.l.f. (www.eyeslipsface.com) where you found the utterly fantastic Peony Petal Body Lotion with Anti-aging Ginkgo Biloba Leaf and Hydrating Organic Soya Oil with Vitamin E.  The best part…it  was only $4 for 14.2 oz.  Okay, okay, I lied.  The best part is that e.l.f. has a whole range of high quality products (never tested on animals) for one dollar each.  You bet your peony-soft booty, I said $1!  (My personal favorites include the All Over Cover Stick, Plumping Lip Glaze in Plum Pout, and the white pencil Eye Widener.  All for one dollar.)  So maybe you’re not the online type?  Maybe you don’t think while you’re browsing the web about what you’ll slather all over your body, Vitamin E fortified or not?  That’s okay, you can get it at Kmart, Mandee, or any of the other stores that carry the e.l.f. brand.  Check the store locator…

Now that you’re all prettified, it’s breakfast time!  Gotta be fast, and gotta be cheap…thank God for www.freegrabber.com, where listings detail every free sample you could ever think of and how to get it.  Let someone else pay for your meals while you challenge your tastebuds to a smorgasborg of varied foods.  So, the real issue here is whether you should start the day with Cinnamon Swirl Cream of Wheat or Total Cranberry Crunch Cereal?  Decisions, decisions…

Now you’re off to work!  You have an extra spring in your step because you’re wearing a new dress from the one and only Target (pronounced “Tar-JAY.”  Very haute couture.)  This is no ordinary Target dress, however, no no!  This is a McQ Alexander McQueen, a new creation from Alexander McQueen’s unique yet affordable line created specifically for a limited time only: March 1-April 11!  (Take this post as your warning, go early, and get those McQ deals, ladies!)

Work, however, is not as fun as a shopping spree at Target.  That is…unless it’s Fabulous Monday!  Which it is!  So plug in your earphones, and sing along to all your favorite music for free at www.pandora.com.  You just type in your favorite band or singer (I’m hooked on Eva Cassidy lately) and the Music Genome Project figures out what other bands/singers/songs you might like to listen to as well.  Create your own profile, skip to the next song, or add more favorites, it’s like a radio station built entirely for your listening pleasure.  For free!

Hopefully, your day will skip by, but if it doesn’t, why not take a few little breathers from all that hard toil?  It couldn’t hurt to take a quick espresso break whilst you peruse such amusing websites such as the Real Estalker (a great blog that shows all the celebrity real estate currently on the market) or the silly feline portal, www.icanhascheezburger.com.  You’ll never look at cats the same way…

And now, now you get to go home.  Hallelujah!  So now how are we going to celebrate the end of the first day of your fabulous week?  How about champagne for the price of a beer?  You got it, sister!  Check out www.bevmo.com for a whole range of wines, beers, and liquors, spanning prices that go from dirt cheap (take a look Andre Champagne Brut for a whopping $2.99) to slightly less dirty cheap (Canals & Nubiola Cava Brut for $5.99) to reasonable (Mumm Champagne Brut Cordon Rouge for $39.99) to woah-mama-my-wallet-hurts (Clicquot Champagne Grande Dame Rose for $379.99).  Now, kick back, relax and cancel your cable.  WHAT?!!  Cancel my what?!  I can’t live without all 589 channels!

Relaaaaax.  You can live without 589 channels.  Because even though you have options galore when vegging out at the end of a long day, what do you really end up watching?  House and 24, maybe a splash of The Office, maybe some Battlestar Galactica if you’re feeling adventurous…well, guess what, people?  It’s all online, anyway.  Check out www.hulu.com, and save all those pennies you spent on unused cable television and go splurge later on some Mumm Champagne and hot new undies from everybody’s favorite online cougar store!  Not only that, Hulu has syndicated shows that aren’t being aired anymore, like Picket Fences and Newsradio, as well as special interviews, documentaries, and movies.  (I’m currently watching “Last Tango in Paris.”  Finally!)

So.  How was your day?  Fun?  Fabulous?  Good.  As every Monday should be.

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